When I wrote about Faux Food back in my old blog, it was in the context of convenience store candies and roadside vendors in China. I didn't think I would be writing about the same phenomenon in luxury haute cuisine, but this is the New Age of Marketing, where "Mission Accomplished" means thousands more still have to die.
The topic is "Kobe Beef." Most people out there who think they've had Kobe Beef probably actually have not. Real Kobe Beef comes from Japan (in fact, one prefecture of Japan), and is produced from cattle that receive a special diet, and who are given massages daily with rice wine, among other accoutrements prior to being led to the slaughterhouse. A steak made from such beef can be expected to be well upwards of $100, probably around the $150 range.
There are a number of cattle grown in the US (and maybe some certain other places) of similar origin and perhaps similar upbringing, but the meat from these cattle are not true Kobe Beef. They may be called "Wagyu," but not Kobe. Therein lies the marketing scam: I live in a city that prides itself on culinary hoity-toitism, to the point of snobbery. But restaurants here (and pretty much everywhere) gregariously tout their burgers or steak, or tacos, or whatever... as "Kobe Beef." And the sad, sad thing is that people buy it thinking they're getting the real thing from Japan.
"Kobe Beef" has practically become synonymous with "good meat." I'm sure there are some restaurants that aren't even serving Wagyu as "Kobe Beef." And those that tout Kobe Beef burgers could easily stick 1% Wagyu in with your standard ground beef and get away with it because, frankly, I don't think people out there can tell Kobe Beef from a rat's ass.
There are no controls over the name, and so naturally people who don't know any better are going to be victimized. Oh well. That's marketing for ya.
So I tried snowboarding for the first time this past weekend.
The pain.
The balance of power has shifted in Washington and around much of the country. This is a good thing, on the surface.
Thinking a little more about the whole thing though, I can't help the feeling that it's a tenuous victory. It's like watching a football game where your team is the overwhelming underdog, and somehow you have a 1 point lead at halftime. in other words, there's hope and you've done well so far... but the juggernaut is making plans to crush you at this very moment.
I think the reason I feel this way is because of the purported reasons that people voted the way they did. Depends on who you ask, but I keep hearing that people were voting on "the war" or "the corruption in the Repuglican party."
While these are certainly valid reasons to vote them out, you just can't ignore the fact that the Dems "won" this election only because people were voting against the elephants. Now if you ask me, I never like to win that way. Going back to the football analogy, that's like throwing 4 interceptions and giving up 2 fumbles, but somehow still winning the game by one point. In other words, you didn't win: they lost.
So as America moves forward (instead of backward, for the first time in 6 years) I think the message should focus on everything besides the war and the corruption. Sure, we need to find solutions to both of those situations, and soon. But let's not forget all the other reasons to root for the good guys: social justice, keeping the government's morality police at bay, our international standing, the strength of our economy and our currency, the rights of the individual over the corporation, the environment, a real energy policy, a real foreign policy...
Like I said, this is halftime. We'll know in 2 years who wins the game when the whistle blows on the current President.
The major oil companies have posted a profit totaling $31,600,000,000 this quarter. That's thirty-one billion six hundred million dollars. I think it's important to put all those zeros in, unlike most major news sources, to emphasize the enormity of that number.
That is more than $5 per person on earth. Profit, not revenue. Profit.
That's $350,000,000 (three hundred fifty million dollars) per day. Or, if you prefer, $14,600,000 per hour... or $4,000 per second. Yes, that's right, in the amount of time it's taken you to read this far, they've made about your annual salary, give or take a few ten thousand dollars.
Here's a great snippet from the Seattle P-I:
While more productive refineries contributed to Chevron's upturn, Oppenheimer & Co. analyst Fadel Gheit said the company reaped its biggest gains at the gasoline pumps. "They really cleaned up there," Gheit said.
Without providing specifics, Chevron Chief Financial Officer Steve Crowe confirmed during a Friday conference call that the company's profit margins were higher at the gasoline pump than at its oil refineries. "That shouldn't be terribly surprising," Crowe said, citing the "stickiness" of gas prices as he discussed the results with industry analysts.
In other words:
"We think you are dumb, and we are going to clean you out. Ha ha ha."
These people are Evil, man. Just remember that when you hit the polling place next month. Yes, we are their hostages now, because they have conspired with your government and your business leaders to create an energy monopoly. But there are other forms of energy out there. We just don't have any way to use them because these people hold them at bay with all their might so that they can pillage you. Yes, you.
So be smart. Don't vote for anybody that will even talk with an oil company executive. Or, at the very least, vote for the guy who stands to profit less from oil. And maybe use the bus when you can? Carpool, at the very least? Turn your heat down 1 degree? C'mon. Small steps.
The feeling you get when you watch Fox is that they are condescendingly taunting you. Fox thinks you're dumb, and everything about their broadcast, from the commentary to the graphics, to the commercials bathes you in this insult. If you don't feel insulted watching Fox, maybe you got problems, yo.
The quality of Fox broadcasts is terrible. The only show worth watching on Fox is The Simpsons. And, unfortunately, due to their monopolistic contract, NFL games. But the overwhelming impression I get when watching that wretched network is not that I am watching a television program or a football game, but that I am watching an Advertising and Marketing Event, with a Simpsons or NFL theme.
Those whores.
Speaking of whores. Fox's commentators are the worst panderers in the business. Look, I understand that for a national broadcast it can be a real challenge to maintain a neutral broadcast. Personally, I think it's okay when a broadcast team kind of goes with the flow of the game and starts talking up the team that is playing better. But just a little. When a game is close, these commentators should make a point of describing the game in neutral terms. The Fox broadcasters clearly choose sides and allow the game to be called that way. The only broadcast I've ever seen that is worse than the average Fox broadcast week in and week out is ABC's deplorable coverage of Super Bowl XL. Those whores.
All I can say is, back to the stinking gutter for you, Rams. You are the most overrated, conniving bunch of wanna-bes in the league.
Also, fuck you, Fox.
You know what the NFL should do?
They should allow more than one broadcast company to broadcast the same game. That way, the fans (and advertisers) can choose which one they want to support.
I can't tell you how agonizing it is to watch a Fox NFL broadcast. The incompetence. The unpreparedness. I mean, seriously. I mean, the only thing I can think of is that Fox management tells them to purposely make all those mistakes so that their target audience feels smarter. And if it's not clear to you that Fox thinks their audience is full of morons, maybe you're part of that target audience. Either that, or Fox has so many directives to their broadcasters to sneak in advertisements for their own horrid shows that it takes away from the concentration their broadcasters need to actually call the game.
You know you're bad when CBS' broadcast seems like a well-oiled machine compared to yours.
This could all be solved from the NFL's perspective if they just gave the rights to competing broadcast teams. Fox would either have to shape up or just fade away.
So dude...
J and I figured out that if about the square root of the number of atoms in the universe were used to make mosquitos, and all of those mosquitos took flight at once, they would consume approximately the same amount of energy produced by the Aswan High Dam in a year.
Here is the supporting math:
10,000,000,000 kWh * 3,600,000 J/kWh = 3.6E16 J
3.6E16J * 1E7 erg/J = 3.6E23 erg
1 erg ~= amount of energy used by 1 mosquito to take flight
1E80 ~= number of atoms in universe
3E19 ~= number of atoms in a mosquito
Therefore, 3.6E23 mosquitos * 3E19 atoms/mosquito = 1.08E43 atoms
Which is about the square root of 1E80, give or take a few orders of magnitude which, since most of these numbers are pretty approximate anyway... well, you get the picture.
A couple of terrorists in the Enron Financial Attacks on America were recently granted leniency. Andrew Fastow and Paula Rieker were given this show of mercy because they had shown remorse and had cooperated with investigators and prosecutors in their attempt to fry the bigger fish, Skilling and Lay.
Well, frankly, I think this is bullshit. I mean, we're holding people who some guy says he suspects of aiding terrorists in secret concentration camps all over the world without due process, without anything!... and our joke of a justice system can't even punish REAL terrorists who really FUCKED people like you and me over. It's ridiculous. All these Enron guys are terrorists. Their actions more directly affected my life than those of al-Zarqawi or bin Laden, or Saddam. These Enron guys destroyed markets, and ruined lives in a direct manner. Every time I see or hear about Enron, it makes me angry. Those "terrorists" in the Middle East are just guys who are fighting to get our Imperialistic asses out of their country. I'm not saying that I condone what they do, but I am saying that I can at least understand what drives them to do what they do. The Enron terrorists did what they did out of pure, blatent, unadulterated EVIL and GREED. Their targets were the American people, just like the terrorists you hear about on Fox News.
And I certainly don't buy this whole "remorse" and "assistance" argument for leniency. These people narced on their bosses to save their own asses. Period. In my opinion, that's even less honorable. They should get more time.
If this Enron thing doesn't illustrate how unfair our justice system is, I don't know what does.
"Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything."
-- Homer Simpson
